Let’s get one thing out of the way: the photos aren’t good, having been taken on the most gunmetal grey leadenly sunless free half hour I’ve ever had in my life, but the idea is worth your attention. I’ve been even more time-overwhelmed than usual this month and was frantically planning to stay up all night to bake and ice another cake to photograph in the four minutes of sunshine yet peeking through the wrapped scaffolding enrobing my apartment before I have to run to work and it just…did not happen. And ultimately, it doesn’t really matter; these photos have no impact on the state of the world, though I wish they would. The important thing is to persevere, because this idea is a very good one indeed, and I must impress upon you calmly, yet with absolute accurate hyperbole, how EXCELLENT the combination of fruitcake and cream cheese icing is.

To that end, one of the reasons for me being overwhelmed and time-broke is also very good indeed: my debut novel Hoods Landing is shortlisted for the Ockham New Zealand Book Awards Jann Medlicott Acorn Prize for Fiction. Am elated, ecstatic, and full of cake (wholeheartedly and with a clear conscience because I’ve at last now fully recovered from the dental surgery I complained about last time and can both chew and crunch again; I celebrated the aforementioned shortlist news with a bowl of well-blended lentil soup.)

To the idea: although I believe it’s one of my stronger moments of culinary genius, the inspiration was mere, simple pattern-forming: the white fondant that often encloses fruitcake like unwelcome scaffolding suggested another icing of the same shade. The provenance may be unassuming, the results are anything but, and I urge you to run to make this combination in one way or another—indeed, using any fruitcake recipe you prefer.

In fact, having done the legwork of thinking up this pairing I didn’t feel the urge to belabour a new fruitcake when Nigella has an exceptional recipe in Feast. It’s one I’ve shared before in 2010 but it bears repeating and I see no need to wrestle control over the originality of the piece; cooking is by and large an act of attribution after all. And when you actually glance at the fruitcake recipe, which I’ve adapted very lightly, you’ll thank me: it’s genuinely so easy, relatively economical (no butter! But there’s butter in the icing, so) and perfectly good on its own terms.

But how does it actually taste? Both layers are sweet, yes, but they’re singular, an exercise in perfect contrast—the capriciousness of the cream cheese icing, the strapping and somber cake beneath. Together, they jolt the senses and make total sense. Fruitcake and cream cheese icing are, in fact, born to be together. The molasses intensity of the ballooning, tea-swollen fruit, bound by dense, moist cake, lighter than a true doorstop fruitcake but every bit as dignified and hearty; against a thickly banked dune of cream cheese icing, lightly tangy and toothmark-sturdy and buttery. It’s magnificent. It’s potentially the start of a global shift in fruitcake presentation. It’s certainly how I want all fruitcakes to be presented to me from now on.

If you’re after more exciting cakes, I recommend my Absolutely Nothing Chocolate Cake; Espresso Tahini-Swirled Banana Bread; Raspberry Marzipan Cake with Lemon Glaze; and Double Vanilla Loaf Cake with Strawberry Jam Icing.

Fruitcake with cream cheese icing

I am more excited about this than anyone could be about a fruitcake; you have to both believe me and try this pairing of dense, molasses-y fruitcake and light, tangy, buttery icing. As always, before shopping for these or any ingredients, I recommend checking out the Boycott Aotearoa zines so you know which brands to avoid. Idea mine, cake recipe adapted lightly from Nigella Lawson’s Feast.

• 350g sultanas, though a mix of dried fruit is also great
• 125g brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon molasses
• 250ml fresh black tea
• 250g flour
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 egg

For the icing:

• 125g full-fat cream cheese, at room temperature
• 100g soft butter
• 200g icing sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1: The night before, tip the 350g mixed fruit and 125g brown sugar into a large bowl and pour over the 250ml fresh, hot black tea. Leave to sit overnight. Or—this has worked for me—if in something of a hurry, microwave briefly in ten second bursts until the fruit is a little swollen, then leave to cool.

2: The next day (or later that day, if you started early in the morning), set your oven to 170C/340F and line a loaf tin with baking paper. Sieve in the 250g flour, the teaspoon each of cinnamon, ginger, and baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda. Stir it all together well, then crack in the egg, and stir that in, too. I find a regular metal spoon easiest here for moving through all that heavy fruit.

3: If the fruit has absorbed too much liquid—and the mixture is too sticky and dry and un-cohesive—simply add some water, small splash at a time, until the mixture is thick and spoonable. It is, needless to say, very forgiving. Spatula all this into your loaf tin and bake for 1 hour. Allow the loaf cake to cool completely on a wire rack before icing.

4: To make the icing—and it’s a good idea to get on it while the cake cools—beat together the 125g cream cheese and 100g soft butter with a wooden spoon, or blend in a food processor till whipped, creamy and incorporated. Tip in the 200g icing sugar and carefully stir, making sure to not nudge sugar clouds everywhere. Stir in the 1/2 teaspoon vanilla; and check the texture—if too floppy, add another few spoonfuls of icing sugar, if too stiff, try a squeeze of lemon juice.

5: One it’s thick and heavily spreadable, splonk the icing on top of the loaf cake and spread it out evenly with the flat side of a knife.  

Makes 1 loaf. Keeps very well in an airtight container in the fridge.

Notes:

• This cake is exceptional and by no means austere without the icing; however the slices do call out for being spread with butter.
• I accidentally made this last time with fruit and tea macerating and the sugar added with the dry ingredients; still great. Once again, incredibly forgiving.

what I’ve been listening to lately:

We Care A Lot by Faith No More, eternal for good reasons (not least of which, that sludgy lawnmower pullcord riff) and bad reasons (Chuck Mosley’s depressingly prescient lyrics)!  

White Feather Hawk Tail Deer Hunter by Lana Del Rey, oh I love it! It’s eerie and wilfully silly and sincere, and calls to mind both Eartha Kitt and Ann-Margret, irreverently yet knowledgeably sexy.

Mein Herr by Liza Minnelli from the musical Cabaret; she is now 80! Good news at last! She is bewitching in this number with her Fosse micro-movements and the way she throws it all on the floor without any pretence; it’s also always worth reminding yourself of her old-timey star power in managing the tongue-twister patter of the Liza with a Z song in such a rueful, conversational way. I’m not sure if there’s any requirement equivalent to this for famous people nowadays and I personally have no need to see, say, Billie Eilish or Glenn Powell do this, but this used to be what it was all about!

PS: Feeling hopeless is a luxury that serves no one but those perpetrating the hopelessness, despite the hopelessness being accelerated beyond comprehension daily. The people of Palestine need us now more than ever; aside from directly sending money when you see personal videos pop up as you scroll instagram, you can support:

• ReliefAid’s Gaza Appeal, who are connected with teams on the ground in Gaza.
• Convoys of Good, another registered NZ charity distributing aid.
• As I’ve already mentioned, you can also demonstrate your control and power through the absence of your dollars. Boycott Zine Aotearoa has helpfully put together two comprehensive free zines so you can quickly see who to studiously avoid when buying food, drinks, household items and beauty products.
• You can also check out the Pro-Palestine Business Aotearoa account by the same people for a very solid list of places to actively focus your consumer attention on.