"We’d Like To Do Our Hit…"

Day 2 of Rock2Wgtn: Poison, Whitesnake, and Ozzy Osborne. Title quote courtesy of The Folksmen. Hot Cross buns soon, I promise. And gluten-free brownies.

First up: Poison. Because it was Easter Sunday, the supermarket was closed and so I had to glean our dinner from the largely ransacked Starmart before the show. So twisties and a muesli bar it was. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to cooking dinner again tonight. In my last post I wondered aloud if Bret Micheals was as bloated and orange as he looks on reality TV. In a word: yeah…

Above: It felt right to be eating twisties while watching something so orange, y’know?

All snarking aside, (and it is a cheap shot), Poison put on a seriously great show. Bret sounding like Mr Schneebly as he waxed lyrical about the spirit of rock music, or something. The most important thing to me was hearing Unskinny Bop (a song I really like), which they played with aplomb, and I have to admit I was looking forward to Every Rose Has Its Thorn, not because I even like it that much, but because it’s nice to be in the crowd for those singalong moments. Paul and I were discussing that all those Eighties hair metal bands – Poison, Europe, Def Leppard – should have joined forces and created, well, not a supergroup, but a group with more than one or two notable songs. Plus you wouldn’t have to worry about telling them apart.

Above: I knew absolutely nothing about Whitesnake. I soon found out that they are British, judging by David Coverdale’s accent, and lots of fun. Also turns out they do that “here I go again on my own” song, which the crowd loved. Almost as much as they loved how he told someone in the audience (female, one presumes) that he would like to compliment her on her “bosoms.”

Tim and I both were struck, however, by his resemblance to dishy ginge actor Julian Rhind-Tutt, who was the lovely Mac in Green Wing.

Above: On top, David Coverdale, and below, the marvelously named Julian Rhind-Tutt. Exhaustive wikipedia-ing revealed they are in no way related, but you know, you never see them in a room together… I still remain convinced that Coverdale is his uncle.

Anyway, after a lot of mic-stand-as-phallus posturing and a rendition of Crying In The Rain, Whitesnake were gone and it was time for Ozzy.

Above: There was a beautiful full moon last night. No doubt, as we noted, Ozzy was underneath it before his set, stripped nude and sacificing a goat. “Unicorn tears” was Tim’s contribution when asked what he thought kept Ozzy going.

Above: Ozzy’s stint began with a lot of rather clever movie and TV clips with Ozzy digitally inserted into them. Lost, Pirates of The Carribean (wherein he bit the head off a parrot), The Office, etc. If you are curious as to why the above photo of Ozzy supposedly dancing in OkGo’s music video is funny, see the original here.

What can I say though. Ozzy Osborne clearly does sacrifice goats in the nude and drink unicorn tears- the man is a firecracker. He went NUTS and managed to squeeze even more noise out of a near-hoarse crowd.

Above: Look at him go!

He was more than ably backed by his band, which included this engaging fellow:

Above: He gave an awe-inspiring guitar solo. I swear, it was about half an hour long. Just enough time to get Ozzy pumped full of oxygen again.

Above: Ozzy is without a doubt, absolutely fantastic. He did War Pigs, Suicide Solution, that one that goes “maybe, it’s not too late, to learn how to love and forget how to hate” and more besides. Mama I’m Coming Home was the rapturously received encore. It was a glorious, on yer feet, hands in the air moment. Then, at the insistence of the crowd (who am I kidding, he was always going to play it) he launched into a thrilling rendition of Paranoid. The crowd basically wet themselves simultaneously. He is pure class.
My only disappointment: Not one band did that classic, drop-the-melody-keep-the-beat-going thing with the audience singing the chorus. I definitely expected some of that from Whitesnake, Poison, and Alice, but not a sausage.
So that was my Easter. When I wasn’t whooping it up at rock festivals, I have been writing essays and trying fruitlessly to create a concept for my next photography assignment. So, next time you hear from me I will be considerably more frazzled. “People think I’m insane because I am frowning all the time…”

2 thoughts on “"We’d Like To Do Our Hit…"

  1. Kay says:

    Saw the Movie “Rent” for $10.00 today at Warehouse and nearly bought it but figured you’d be bringing it up in April anyway…..Just watchin’ Black Sabbath Paranoid on C4 now….. oops, no, Mark has switched back to King Kong.


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